Mostly Safe For Work

Surviving the World

Many pearls of wisdom, in pictures: http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson1.html

College Baseball Game Rainout Leads to Danceoff and Other Hijinx

The Worst Day

No more baby. Miscarriage. No words to describe.

-T

What a Day

My wife, now between five and six weeks pregnant, called me at work today in a panic to tell me she was bleeding. I told her to call the doctor and get back to me. While I was waiting, I did a bit of research online and was reassured to find that cramps and bleeding are common during pregnancies and not necessarily problematic. My wife called back moments later somewhat reassured and with an appointment for this afternoon. She was still a bit of a nervous wreck though, so she went home to wait for our appointment.

 

Around 1:00, after my wife and I had spent most of the day wondering if we had lost our baby, she took another pregnancy test – and it was negative. When she called and told me I felt sick to my stomach. I won’t even try to put the feeling into words, though I’m sure anyone who has been through a pregnancy can imagine. Feeling utterly helpless, I immediately left work to be with my wife as our appointment approached.

 

We made the twenty minute trip to the doctor in near silence, both with too much running through our heads. We had each prepared ourselves for the worst and expected to hear that we had lost our baby. The visit itself was somewhat bittersweet, though definitely more sweet than bitter so far. First of all, my wife was positive at their office, she had apparently just drunk too much water prior to her home test. We learned that everything is okay…for now. The general rule is that anytime there is bleeding during a pregnancy there is a 50/50 chance of miscarriage, which is terrifying. But it seemed like we had the right answer for every question we were asked about our situation, so it sounds like we’re on the right side of that 50/50. Problem is we have to wait until Friday to find out for sure. That’s roughly sixty hours on pins and needles, waiting to hear if our baby still exists or not. Friday can’t come fast enough.

 

-T

I'm Gonna Have a Baby

That runs through my head at least a dozen times every day, and 10 days after finding out I haven't yet begun to get used to it.

My wife and I have been trying to start a family for about four months, but I don't tend to be easily excited about things that might happen, so I'd kept a pretty even keel throughout the entire process. Even last Thursday, when my wife took a pregnancy test that showed a very faint second line, I didn't get particularly excited. I was hopeful, but the line was so faint that I wanted to wait for further confirmation before getting my hopes up. So my wife asked me to run to the store to buy a digital test to take in a few days, then we went to bed.

Around 4:30 the next morning I awoke to find my wife getting out of bed. She'd had a sleepless night and wanted to take another test. I got out of bed with her and sat at the top of the stairs while she took the test. A few minutes later she came out of the downstairs bedroom, and by the look on her face I instantly knew that we were having a baby. I don't have any idea how she actually told me because my head was already swimming. I've spent a considerable amount of time since that morning trying to figure out how to describe the feeling of that moment, but to this point I haven't been able to find the words. It was something like excitement but way beyond anything I'd ever felt before. It was utterly surreal - I felt an odd sense of accomplishment and overwhelming sense of completion. I'm certain that this was the first of what will be countless experiences that can only be understood - on an emotional level at least - by those who have been through them.

Now more than a week later, the excitement grows with each passing day. I spend much of my time each day thinking about the person growing inside of my wife's belly and wishing I didn't have to wait almost eight more months to meet them. To add to the excitement, I just found out that my cousin and his wife are expecting as well. He called me only days after I told him we were expecting and told me it was now a race to the finish line. Unbelievable. My wife and I have begun thinking of names, but we haven't had much success so far. I actually took on online survey that offered six suggestions. Among them were Jermaine and three spellings of Mohammed, which would be strange choices for a white kid from North Dallas. Not much help there, but we've got plenty of time to figure it out. More to follow.

-T