Mostly Safe For Work

Funny Commercial

I'm not sure if this commercial is especially new or not, but I just saw it for the first time and loved it. I still don't know how to embed videos though.

A Few Oddities From the Past Week

In prior years at my school, coaches who needed to drive buses were required to take a twenty hour CDL course to become licensed. Well, over the summer the school painted our buses white, and now we no longer have to do any training whatsoever because they are no longer "schoolbuses." Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled not to have to sit through the classes anymore, but the fact that a coat of paint changes the amount of training necessary to drive the buses is absurd. Who the hell made up that rule?

I saw this book on a grocery store rack yesterday and was absolutely fascinated by it. I think this is easily the strangest thing I've ever seen published. But I guess for those wishing to "discover insights into hunting and spiritual growth" at the same time, this is for them.

And I'll be excited to see how this beauty pageant for nuns plays out. I wonder if you can gets odds at a sportsbook?

-T

I just Discovered Jimmy Carr

He is hilarious.

-T

My First Comedy Show

Last Thursday I went with my girlfriend to my first comedy show. I've been to some open-mic nights at dive bars before, but this was the first time I ever bought a ticket to go see someone famous, or at least notable. That person was Eddie Izzard. He's not as famous in America as he is in Europe (he's British), but he is still very well known. He was also voted in a poll taken by many other noteworthy comedians as one of the twenty most influential comics ever. One of the things he's best know for is that he's a transvestite who frequently performs in drag, and he plays the dad on FX's "The Riches."

Anyway, ever since I saw his comedy special "Dress to Kill" on HBO about five years ago I've been practically obsessed with this man. He is so fantastically funny and so entertaining that even though "Dress to Kill" is nearly three hours long (how in the hell does one put together a three hour stand-up routine?!?!), I never once checked my watch and was genuinely disappointed when it was over.

So when I discovered he was coming to Dallas I immediately pulled one of my patented "impulsively spend an enormous sum of money that I don't really have" moves and spent over $700 dollars for two tickets in the second row, right in front of the stage. And you know what? It was worth it. He was absolutely terrific, as expected. The show he is touring behind isn't quite to the standard of "Dress to Kill," but it's brilliant nonetheless. I could not recommend going to the show strongly enough if you have the opportunity. And I also recommend anyone who likes to laugh to buy "Dress to Kill." The first half hour is very funny, but the remaining two hours or so are absolutely brilliant. What a great night.

-T

Funny Video (2 min.)

This is hilarious. The whole time I was watching this video of a news station fluff reporter making an ass of herself I thought it was an outtake. Then they cut back to the anchors looking horrified before quickly cutting to commercial. Priceless. I still don't know how to embed videos, however, so you have to follow the link.

-T

Another Funny Animal Video

I couldn't stop laughing at these fainting goats for several minutes. What an absolutely rediculous creature. I've watched the part about 48 seconds in where a guy startles them with an umbrella and the fall like bowling pins at least two dozen times this morning. Enjoy.

-T

Great Link

I am absolutely captivated by this website. It's the Handlebar (Mustache) Club site, and I defy anyone to scroll through the members' photos and try to decide who's the most creepy. I couldn't narrow it down beyond my top twelve or so. I think my favorite part of all the rediculousness is the second photograph in the 'History' section of the website. Most organizations, especially in America, would make sure that any photos of its members in blackface would be locked in an attic somewhere or burned. Not these guys. To them it's funny. I want in. I've already decided that I'm going to buy something from the giftshop, I'm just not sure if it's going to be the coffee mug or the necktie. The cufflinks would be badass, but I'm not fancy enough to wear French cuffs.

-T

A Real WWI Blog

This is really cool:

LONDON - Thousands of people have been following the fate of a British soldier fighting in the trenches of World War I on a Web site publishing his letters home exactly 90 years after they were written.

Like William Henry Bonser ("Harry") Lamin's real family almost a century ago, the modern reader visiting www.wwar1.blogspot.com does not know when the next letter is coming, or whether the one they are reading is in fact his last.

Many are braced for the dreaded telegram from the army notifying relatives of a soldier's death.

I Love This Guy

Go Hitchens!

-T

Fantasy Football Reflections...Plus a Link

My first foray into the world of NCAA fantasy football, or any fantasy league for that matter, ended in disappointing fashion last weekend, as all three of my teams fell in the first round of the playoffs. Now that I've had a few days to adjust to life without my fantasy teams, I've discovered some interesting psychological aspects to the experience. The closest parallel to my attitude and behavior over the past few months is how I acted when I was growing up playing video games against my brother. Back then, whatever twelve year old responsibilities I had, mainly schoolwork and the occasional chore, were endlessly delayed while I sat in front of the TV playing Nintendo. Homework went undone, garbage remained uncollected, and family interaction became a distant memory. After all, my season in Madden '92 was unquestionably far more important than earning my allowance or preparing for an upcoming test. Similarly, for the past few months I have spent each weekend ignoring my girlfriend, procrastinating with regards to any work that needed doing, and generally withdrawing from society between Thursday evening and Saturday night. And similarly, there was little doubt in my mind that my priorities were well ordered during this time.

Perhaps more tellingly, I found myself re-developing a familiar sort of paranoia. Fifteen years ago, if I lost to my brother in a video game, I was certain I had been beaten because "the computer cheated." I would wager that many people can relate to the feeling of having certain victory snatched from your grasp by the conniving and sinister "computer". Lately, with every bad break that befell any of my fantasy teams, I was certain that I was being sabatoged. Last weekend, 8-1 Boise State ran two wide reciever reverses in for scores, and on another drive was held on fourth and goal at the one by winless Utah State. Had a running back reached the end zone on any one of those drives I would be in the championship playing for $400 this weekend. I've since decided that Boise was on the take and conspiring against me, and no one can convince me otherwise. Just like the site that ran my league had it in for me when they stopped letting one of my tight ends keep racking up tight end points when he was moved to running back in week 8. After the past couple of weeks, I am fairly certain each of my new neighbors are now positive they have moved next to someone with explosive Tourrette's.

Can fantasy sports be played responsibly. Perhaps, though I'm not sure I possess the necessary tool kit. Restraint has never been my strong suit. I'm frequently mocked by my friends as the sort of person who takes each new hobby to absurd levels before abandoning it altogether not long after. Fortunately, NCAA football is the only fantasy option available among sports I care enough about to participate in. In fact, I have a feeling I've already discovered my next hobby. This past weekend, a friend introduced me to online virtual horse racing. There is very little chance that this is going to end well. I'm having flashbacks to the time I managed to lose $1300 in five minutes on internet blackjack, for which I was subsequently cut off by the casino. It's never a good sign when an online casino has to be your conscience for you.

-T

Oh, and this Japanese potty training video is absolutely priceless, and also, apparently, well traveled. Hopefully someone out there finds this link (which I found on the brilliant comedy website Cracked) and sees it for the first time.