Lately, I've spent a lot of time thinking about a particular issue. In fact, it's the reason I'm awake and writing this at 11:15 at night rather than sleeping, as I should be. The problem is that a family friend has recently been sent to prison, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. Let me explain...
Ever since I can remember, my parents have had a housekeeper named Alberta who comes two days a week. After nearly twenty five years, Bertie is now basically family. She has a son who's four years younger than me, and he's always been kind of like a little brother to me. Actually, he's not really her son. In fact, I don't think they're related at all, but his real mom had numerous problems and couldn't take care of him, so somehow he wound up with Bertie. Anyway, he was the kind of kid who never had much of a shot in life. His mom was a mentally challenged drug addict, his dad was never around, he was raised by a lady old enough to be his great grandma, and he lived in a miserable housing project in Southeast Dallas. He's also mentally challenged like his mother. Not special-ed mentally challenged, just significantly below average intellectually. After he graduated high school five years ago, he eventually turned to selling drugs, for which he was arrested twice and put on probation. Then about a year ago he was charged and pled guilty to possesion of child pornography and aggravated sexual assault (which was originally aggravated sexual assault of a minor, then downgraded by the DA for some reason). He was given ten years for each charge, to be served concurrently.
So back to my dilemma. I want to provide him with whatever support I can while he's in prison, but I obviously have a real problem with why he's in there in the first place. Based on the fact that the DA downgraded the second charge, I suspect the girl was perhaps sixteen or so - a minor, but at least not nine years old or something. If this is true, I at least feel a little better about the situation...a little better. But what if he was molesting a nine year old? I don't want anything to do with someone who would do that, no matter what my relationship with them has been in the past.
But I know that he doesn't have hardly anyone in his life who cares about him. Bertie may be the only one, but she's in her eighties now and in poor health, so there's only so much she can do, and there's a good chance she won't live to see him released. I know he looks up to me and my support would mean a great deal to him, so the thought of abandoning him is awful to me. So what do I do? Support a child molester/rapist/drug dealer, or abandon a troubled kid who's like a little brother to me?
The best solution I've come up with so far is to do some research on what his best options might be once he's released. I doubt he's smart enough to figure things out on his own, and as a registered sex offender his options are severely limited, so some guidance regarding potential employment might be the best support I could offer. That way I can do something helpful and let him know somebody's rooting for him to succeed, but still keep myself from being associated with him in any way that may reflect poorly on me should things go badly. But then I come back to the fact that I'd be supporting a child molester/rapist. I'm a teacher for godsake, the thought of someone harming a child disgusts and enfuriates me. I don't know what the hell to do.
His birthday is next week. Maybe I'll send him a card and then figure things out from there. Anybody have any advice?
